if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I believe in your delicious
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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