You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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