Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
