Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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