i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
