i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
