so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
