soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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