so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
