if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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