I don't think brook has ever known best
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
