I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think my moral compass just broke
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