I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
