The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize