dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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