It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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