I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
