plz talk dirty to me
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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