Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
