Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
