he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
