You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
