i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
