help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
