guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
