um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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