were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
