remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
my poor anus
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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