He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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