i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
They have beer where we have blood.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize