false alarm. still invincible.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
