i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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