Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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