dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
