don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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