I hate your face
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Randomize
