My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
