She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
