soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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