Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
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