i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
