That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize