Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
There was a lot of him and a little penis
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
