remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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