OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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