I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
