so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
