For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
