just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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