this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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