So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
