I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
