i think my tv is drunk
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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