We won't sleep together?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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