I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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