no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
