from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
