You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
