The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
