I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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