the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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