I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
